Guess What!!?

It has been a long time since I've had anything to write. Ironically, I still don't really have anything to write, I'm just beyond bored and I can't fall asleep. Ah well.

As the three of you who read this have no doubt noticed, I didn't get my list done before my birthday. Do I care? Not one bit! I'll just roll some of them over to the next list that I make! Haha. Life threw me so many curve balls this last year. It was ridiculous. I would be lying if I said that I loved every minute of it but the 'ups' certainly made up for the 'downs.'  Being 25 was the most amazing year of my life. It would take me days to write why... it was just the best. ;)

I am so blessed in so many different ways. I have had such a marvelous example of true love and companionship in my parents. Life hasn't been easy and it's still not easy but my mom and dad have always done an amazing job of showing me how to love and support your spouse. I have some great examples in my brothers and sisters, too. They each have their own trials and they're dealing with them the best they know how. Each of them has taught me so much about life in their own unique way.

I have wonderful friends who make me feel loved and missed. I have people that are there when I need them. A listening ear when I need to vent and a joke when I need to smile. It's nice to have a few good, true friends in your life. I definitely have my fair share! <3 Shout out to Jake, Kati, Angela, Jessie, and Kendal.

I have also been blessed with the most amazing boyfriend a girl could ever hope for. (Seriously. Girls, be jealous. Haha!) He treats me like a princess and I have never felt more amazing. He's completely wonderful, funny, sexy, and smart. Basically, he's golden. Thank you, Kyle. <3

I am also lucky enough to have the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. I don't know what I would do without the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and my testimony in it and my knowledge and understanding of our Savior, Jesus Christ and the Atonement. General Conference was mind-blowing a couple of weeks ago. I have never been more inspired! My favorite talk was by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, as always. He was speaking directly to me. Tender mercy of the Lord, my friends. Tender mercy indeed.

I am grateful to be alive every day, even the crappy ones... mostly. I'm enjoying growing older. The older I get, the more fun life seems to get. Wow. Life is good.

Welp, I should try to get some sleep... too bad I'm still not tired. I guess I could come up with a list of 26 before 27... hmmmm. Maybe another day. ;)

Remember to keep smiling...

Hearts,
me

Just Another Roller Coaster Kinda Day...

If you haven't listened to Troy Dunn's, "Life is Like a Roller Coaster" talk... you really need to do it now. True doctrine right there my friends!

These last couple of days have been... like a roller coaster. LOL! You know what? They sucked. I have not been this emotionally exhausted in a long, long time.

The silver lining in all this is the temple. Wow. I had the opportunity to go to the Idaho Falls temple today. It was amazing. That doesn't do it justice. It was simply perfect. I needed it in more ways then I realized. Just wow.

I've decided to just enjoy the ride. Laugh and scream and have fun. People will be there to love you and help you through things. There's always a listening ear. :)

I am also going to start saying this... in all seriousness. Get ready. It's the new motto for my life.

My official theme song for the rest of 2013! I can be brave. I can do it! (And apparently being brave is somehow connected to dancing with no shame in public places, which is interesting). <3

And for your parting smile...

I laughed out loud. Some people... ;)

Hearts,
me

Remember to Laugh

It was a night full of Duck Dynasty premiers, haunted towns, and scary swings. Adventures are a necessity in life and I seem to have forgotten that fact. Luckily, I know some fantastic people who have reminded me just how important being silly and ridiculous is. :)

Life is good.

Remember to laugh, my friends.

I may or may not have done something similar...



I would miss you, Angela.

I'm reminded of my mother... she loves 'why did the chicken cross the road?' jokes.

Every. Single. Day.

I laugh every time. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Kevin is a jerk. No one likes Neal. :D

Hearts,
me

Midnight Musings

When you stay in bed all day, you are bound to stay up pretty late at night. Why did I stay in bed all day, you may ask... it was my freaken day off! I had no homework. I had no obligations. I had nothing to do. It was glorious.

I have a slightly unhealthy obsession with sleeping and naps.... maybe it's because I never seem to get enough. *oh, insomnia* So when I get a day to do absolutely nothing and stay in bed all day, I'll take it! I'm sure that my future husband will appreciate that desire! <3

The last couple days have been pretty eventful. There were a few things that happened and those things triggered thoughts, feelings, and emotions that I thought I had forgotten.

Yeah. Right. Whoops. Guess not.

 

Worst feeling in the world.

Being randomly and suddenly reminded of just how much someone hurt you is absolutely no fun. It's just something that has to be worked through, I guess. I have discovered that it is a process that takes time. You will be (harshly) reminded, over and over and over again, of exactly what someone did to you. Luckily, I have also discovered that it hurts a little less every time. :) And that's ok.

Amen.

I don't know if I'll ever have it all together. LOL. That being said...

Hearts,
me

P.S. My FB hiatus is going pretty great. It's nice to be able to focus on my own life for a bit. ;)




My Last Break...

Right now it's the seven week break from BYU-Idaho. Lucky for me, I have a job to keep me busy. Unlucky for me, it is only part time. I have A LOT of free time on my hands.

I have decided not to make any plans and to just enjoy my break. It is the last break from "life" that I will have for a very, very long time. This fall I will be moving into Idaho Falls and working full time. Then, in January I go back to school full time until I graduate... that sounds nice except that I have about two years left. Sheesh.

The one thing that I have planned.... take a break from Facebook. Refocus on my life. Enjoy Idaho and the outdoors. Take more temple trips. Mostly just take a break from Facebook. I am going to enjoy these next couple weeks of being a quarter of a century old. Twenty-six or bust! :)

 

Learn this lesson. Learn it quickly. It will make all the difference in your world. I guarantee it. <3

 

Hearts,

me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 









Soul Mates

I have never been a big believer in soul mates. When it comes to romantic love I think that there can be more than one option when it comes to marriage. You can be happy with whatever choice you make. I'm more of a believer that the soul mates in your life are your best friends.

"Throughout life you will meet one person who is unlike any other. You could talk to this person for hours and never get bored. You could tell them things and they won't judge you. This person is your soul mate, your best friend. Don't ever let them go."

When it comes to friends I have known a lot of different girls that have meant a lot of different things to me. I have also had some friends who have turned out to not be friends at all. In high school I never imagined that I would ever have as amazing friends as I do today. I can count them all on one hand. The ones who have always been there and who help me feel amazing about myself.

I have one friend in particular who has meant so much to me. Granted, we have put each other through a lot. Haha! That's what happens when you're young and immature with all kinds of issues. Luckily, we both grew up and matured.

I remember the first time that I meant thins amazing woman. I was meeting with the girls I would be living with, away at college. There was only one girl that I didn't know. I remember when she walked in to the room I thought, "Dang. That's who got my dream body." She was absolutely stunning and I also remember thinking that I would never get a guy because they would all love her! Then, we all moved away to college and went through a lot of different trials. I became very close with her. Over the next few years we went through different ups and downs and became even closer because of it.

Everyone has a best friend or even a few best friends. I know I do! I only have one Angela in my life, though. She's "my Angela." It's kind of a running joke between us. I'm "her Tjanna" and she's "my Angela." I could go on and on and on about what an amazing and wonderful woman she is. She is one of the wisest, funniest, and strongest women to ever walk into my life. Today was this her 25th birthday, so in honor of that, here are 25 of my most cherished memories with her:

1. Chocolate seduction ice cream
2. "Life isn't always cupcakes and kittens, sometimes you get mud pies and pit bulls... so learn to run fast and have fun getting dirty"
3. Planning just "how far we would go..." (Angela, you know what I mean.) Haha!
4. "Unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck"
5. All of our Taco Bell trips
6. "We call it 'Heaven Bread.' I imagine this is what manna tasted like."
7. The Bird of Jared... Mohonri Moriancumr.... 'Mo' for short... *New Development* Greg murdered Mo.
8. Really? Really? Seriously?
9. Driving her car, illegally or not...
10. "My house is always open. Well, actually it's usually locked, but you can knock..."
11. Sitting in the Celestial room together and just talking and pondering
12. "I was just trying to be scandalous..."
13. All of our travel plans and our volunteer plans, too
14. Kitty Cat
15. "I forgot how much it hurt to get eaten by a dinosaur"
16. "The beach!"
17. Walking around the temple and talking about everything
18. New Girl
19. Our dessert and ice cream/frozen yogurt runs
20. "I'm sorry that I marred my... whatever..."
21. Walking around Target and decorating our dream homes- located in Chandler, right across the street from each other
22. Taking sweet Tucker to the dog park
23. "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain."
24. Trying to figure out how exactly we can end up related
25. Burying the hatchet

Angela, darling! Thank you for everything. I have no idea where I would be in life without you. You give the greatest advice. You can make me laugh like no one else can! You are one of the most gorgeous women I have ever known. So beautiful! You are going to be the most amazing mother someday. Most especially, thank you for sharing my extremely special day with me last year. It was all the more wonderful because you were there. <3 I love you soooo much! I hope that being a quarter of a century is rocking, completely!

It Is... What It Is.

My list? Yeah.... about that. I'm not looking forward to the update on my progress that I'm going to have to do eventually... haha! As of this very minute there are 43 days left until my birthday! I'm going to make this the best birthday, ever! I have no idea how since I'm going to be up in Rexburg all alone (basically) and doing nothing but working part time. I'm sure I'll think of something. ;)  
 
This semester has been long. I've had lots and lots of things happen. Spring semesters seem to fall apart quickly and relentlessly. One of my favorite Elder Holland quotes helped me out, though...

"Even if you cannot always see that silver lining on your clouds, God can, for He is the very source of the light you seek. He does love you, and He knows your fears. He hears your prayers. He is your Heavenly Father, and surely He matches with His own the tears His children shed."
 

This Semester's Silver Linings

1. Finding a part time job within weeks of getting back up to Rexburg

2. Living with three beautiful and amazing roommates, who can always make me laugh

3. Having a wonderful, worthy, priesthood-holding brother close by to give me blessings when I need them

4. Having an awesome apartment manager who loves to talk and is completely laid back

5. The MOST amazing bishop of all time, who I love and I miss every Sunday… and I quite possibly get choked up some Sundays in Sacrament meeting, when I look up and he’s not there… just maybe… (Pathetic? Sure! I’m really good at that.)

6. Wonderful friends who remind me just how amazing I can be  and how much they love and miss me. Thank you Jessie, Chelsea, Kendal, and Tiffany. <3

7. A very best friend who is so wise and loving and willing to talk to me for 3+ hours on the phone about subjects that don’t really matter…. Well, maybe they do. J

8. Mostly easy classes with wonderful, understanding teachers.

9. Netflix (possibly detrimental to my grades…)

10. The country songs that got me through the semester:

·         “More Than Miles”

·         “You Don’t Know Her Like I Do”

·         “Crazy Girl”

·         “Dirt Road Anthem”

·         “Fly Over States”

·         “Night Train”

·         “Crash My Party”

·         “Runnin’ Outta Moonlight”

·         “Easy”

11. A cute boy with cute dogs who will text me, always, about everything, no matter the hour.

12. Pictures of my babies from my awesome brother. Shout out to Joseph!

13. Being able to live within walking distance of the temple. Simple perfection.

I am blessed, watched over, and loved. Sometimes it's hard to remember that fact but it's such a comfort when I do. <3

Hearts,

me

 

I need a nap... and by nap, I mean 'small coma' so I can hide from my life.

I need a break from my homework and I just need to write about some things... it's going to be a jumbled mess of thoughts, so learn from my ramblings...

• You can deal with something and get over it. You can do this surprisingly fast and easily. An example would be having someone walk out of your life forever. You can then move back to the place where you have a gajillion memories with this certain someone and realize that you have to figure it all out again. This process REALLY sucks. Luckily, you get over it (again) much faster than you thought you would. Thank heavens.
• Dogs really are a woman's best friend. We have four of them. I miss them. I want them. I need them. I hope I can visit them relatively soon...

Isabo. She's not even close to this little anymore. She's the cutest thing and SO energetic.

Chewbacca, or as I call him, Chewie-bacca. He's the littlest and funniest dog. He definitely has a Napoleon complex.

Gibson. He's the sweetest dog you will ever meet. He has the most beautiful bark. Where the Red Fern Grows, anyone?

My gorgeous baby, Ella! She is the most perfect dog that has ever lived and I miss her like CRAZY!
 

• Your roommates can make all the difference. Living with girls that are chill, easy-going, and beautiful is such a blessing! 208 rocks, man!
• Boys will always drive you crazy. Then, you will meet an actual man and you will lose it completely. You will be a blithering idiot in front of him all the time. It will drive you nuts and your self-confidence will take a nose dive off the high jump. Yeah... bleck. This "emotions" stuff is crap. Point me in the direction of the nearest nunnery.
• If a certain unnamed boy says one more sexist, belittling comment about women, BYU-Idaho, or teachers... all hell is going to break lose.
• Contrary to popular belief, woman DO have a say in who they date. Stalking us and being unrelenting isn't going to change our mind.
• Are any of us in high school anymore? Wait... no!? Wow. Shocker. So stop acting like a 16 year old conceited little brat. Include everybody and have some common courtesy.
• Never take two online classes at the same time.
• Having one of your very best friends be the EQP definitely has its perks... that being said, if anyone EVER disses your EQP in front of you they better pray you don't go nutso and give them the best and most terrifying lecture EVER on how they know nothing and need to shut their little, young mouth. Amen.
• I get to learn how to shoot this semester. Yeah, man! Finally.
• Being back in school is so amazing. Idaho is actually gorgeous and fun. At this point in my life, I'm loving it up here.

If you made it all the way through this... you are priceless and I love you. I will now leave you with my new philosophy on life...

Hearts!
me

My Musings...

A few thoughts before I run off to class...

• I have the greatest and best looking apartment of girls in my ward. Ha.
• Listening to your roommate play her guitar and sing is pure heaven (especially when it's just her, in the living room, messing around and practicing by herself. She's talented, guys)
• I do not enjoy the cold
• I wish I had figured out long ago that teaching really is my calling and pathway in life...
• Once you are comfortable with yourself, life goes a lot more smoothly
• Losing your whole box of kitchen stuff is the worst
• You don't realize how nice it is to come home to 4 crazy, happy dogs who are always excited to see you- no matter what- until you don't. (Even if an unnamed dog wakes you up in the middle of the night because another unnamed dog won't let her on the couch... *cough*cough* Ella *cough*
• It's nice to have family with you, no matter where you live
• Sometimes, lists can become overwhelming
• Arizona is the best palce to live

Hearts,
me

The Day I Was Schooled By My Four Year Old

2013 is not turning out how I dreamed... hence, the word 'dreamed'. Haha!

Ok... so technically, she's not my four year old. I've nannied for her family since she was one and a half, so basically... forever. ;) I sure do love her like she's my own daughter, though. Her name is Ella. Haha. Go figure.

I was in a minor fender bender on Saturday night. No worries. Everything's good. My car is a little banged up and she needs some fixing. I'm physically fine. Mentally, a completely different story. More on that some other time. I'm still smiling, though, and that's what matters! :D

I drove my mom's old car to work today and Ella immediately started asking me about the car, about a million questions.

"Where's your car Jaw-uh?"
"Why you have a new one?"
"You like this new one?"

I explained to her that this is my mom's old car that she's letting me borrow until I get my car fixed. This car is ancient. It's a 1995 white Buick bus thing that is older than my youngest sister. Not gonna lie, it's a piece of junk that runs on prayers more than gasoline.

When I was sitting on the passenger's seat, door open, putting on my tennis shoes, Ella started pointing out all kinds of things about the car to me.

"Those are comfy seats."
"The back is nice."
"The seat belt on the door? That cool."
..... and she continued on pointing out all the cool things about the car while I finished up putting on my shoes. When I was finished she said, "This cool car Jaw-uh. I wish I have one this cool."

That hit me like a train. Random, I know. Here I was, worring about my broken (nice) car, the money that it's going to cost to fix it, (which I have been blessed with, by the way), college problems, financial aide woes, a three-job-working-burnout, and assorted other disappointments... how lucky am I? I have a family who loves me. I have friends who care about me. I have the gospel of Jesus Christ. I have my own beautiful baby Ella (AKA, my dog). I am an extremely blessed woman who deals with a lot of different issues that can be overwhelming. I take it one day at a time and try to focus on my blessings. I have a lot of them. I am even so blessed that I have a "cool car" to drive when I need one. Wow. I am one lucky duck.

Thank you for reminding me of all this, my darling four year old! <3

Gotten into 'Duck Dynasty' yet?
Seriously.
Go watch it NOW.

*Disclaimer*
        -"Jaw-uh" is how Ella pronounces my name. She has the cutest lisp and it kills me every time.

"I don't know half of you as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

I have always wondered if I would be happy if my life had turned out how I wanted it to when I was sixteen, eighteen, or even twenty-one years old. These past few weeks have shown me… heck to the no! My life can be very challenging some days. I deal with a lot of things. I wouldn’t trade any of my experiences for anything, though. Ever. I have learned some priceless lessons. So many different things have happened to me over the past few years. 2012 seemed to top them all. I feel like I learned more this past year than all the others put together. It’s like everything just clicked this year and it all finally makes sense. I know who I am and where I want to go.  Just wow. These are five of my most invaluable lessons:

1. Move away

Staying in the same place forever really sucks. It gets old. You get used to it. In my opinion, you get too comfortable. Even though I moved up to the-middle-of-nowhere, Idaho, it was still somewhere that wasn’t Mesa. I wish that I had done that sooner. Ah well! I had things to deal with and demons to conquer. I miss that place more than is probably healthy for any normal human being. April will get here soon enough! That being said…

 

2. Wherever You Are—Be All There

It does no good to move away and long for the place that you left. Be happy wherever you are. One of my most favorite quotes I’ve read recently says, “Wherever you go, no matter the weather, always bring your own sunshine.” I love that!  It took me a lot longer than I would care to admit, to learn this lesson. I have finally figured it out, though! I’m home in good old Arizona and loving it! I love being close to my family and especially my dog. J I love the sunshine and the friends that I have down here. I’m going back up to school in April. I can’t wait but at the same time… I can. I’m enjoying living in the present.

 

3. Let People Care

You will be surprised by how many people out there are actually good people… you just have to give them the chance. Let them care about you. Let them help you through your hard times. Trust them. Love them. Most importantly, though… let them love you. Always keep in mind that they’re going through their own trials and are only human. Don’t let fear of loss, hurt, or heartbreak scare you. Go out and meet new people. You will be pleasantly surprised by who stays by your side and never leaves.  Looking back on 2012 and all the people I met and who I’m still close to… I’m blown away. I could have never guessed everything would end up this way and friendships/relationships would work out like they did. I am the luckiest girl in the world! I have the greatest friends and examples in my life. To all of you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You know who you are.

 

4. Learn From the “Lessons”

Another quote that I like a lot right now is, “People come into your life for one of two reasons. They are either a blessing or a lesson.” Maybe it’s just one of my faults but I ignore the bad in everyone. I always focus on the good qualities in people. That might sound like a good thing but dang, you can get burned! It finally all clicked this year for me. People are going to hurt you, break your heart, and leave you. Intentionally or unintentionally. This is just the reality of life. That is OK! Let those people be lessons for you! Let them teach you who you don’t want to be and show you things that you would like to change about yourself. You must remember, however, to…

 

5. Forgive

It is the hardest thing in the world to do, at least from my experience. I finally had this lesson hit home this year. There were many different reasons why, I suppose. I had a lot of very different ‘interactions’ with people this year. I am here to tell you that if you can learn to do one thing, you will be more at peace than I could even begin to describe to you… accept an apology that was never given and move on. Don’t wait around for people to realize how much they hurt you or how heartless and thoughtless they were. Move on. I promise you that someday they will realize what they did or how bad it hurt. Just don’t wait around for that to happen. I highly recommend “The Peacegiver” by James L. Ferrell. Read it. It will change your life. Guaranteed.

With all that being said, I have one more confession… I have always thought I’m a pretty smart girl when it comes to judging character. Granted, I am but I am only human. A surprising lesson I learned is to trust the opinion of those you trust and trust your first impression. I’ve always been a sucker for second chances (granted, they have their place) but not always. If someone has repeatedly hurt, ticked off, or infuriated those you care about, it would be wise to not let that person get too close. Ahhhhh! What an obnoxious, yet satisfying lesson to learn. After 25 years, I finally understand… trust your gut. You have more wisdom and sense than you think.

I am SO ready for 2013. I have so many plans and dreams. It’s so funny because 2013 hasn’t even started and I’ve already changed my whole year around! This is my year! This is my “unexpected journey.” (Haha! I’m such a nerd!)

Now, a parting smile...

Amen!! (And yes, I'm on a complete Hobbit craze right now. LOL!)

 

 

Who knew dwarves could be so attractive! <3

Hearts,
me

Oh my gosh. Wow.

Man... do I have some stuff to vent. Lessons learned. Time wasted. Myself, rediscovered. Just... wow. Some people will surprise you.

"Play me like a game and I'll leave you like a joke."

More to come. <3

This Week. Yikes.

Sometimes, they REALLY suck.

It has been a long, long week. I am emotionally drained but still smiling. ;) Trying, at least. Instead of actually thinking and writing for myself, I will let these quotes speak for me...

These are all good representations of different thoughts and feelings I've had this week. Yikes. At least this week is over. Life can try to ruin me again next week... I say, "BRING IT! I can take it. Booyah!"